First Daughter

Who is the wild side of the Bush Daughter Duo Dating? (it's called alliteration, get used to it) The young man who keeps showing up by Jenna's side during inaugural events and at the Georgetown bar Smith Point happens to be Henry Hager. Richmond's Style Weekly reported yesterday that his father is John H. Hager, Virginia's first director of homeland security, former lieutenant governor, and most recently the assistant secretary of education. Come on folks, these Republican dynasty's don't just make themselves!

As for some advise to the young Henry on how to deal with dating the first daughter, we refer to the seminal works on the subject "First Daughter" staring Katie Holmes and "Chasing Liberty" with Mandy More. We have learned that you can't sneak in the window of the White House, and that you don't mess with the secret service. We assure you that we only watched these movies for research, honest.

Congressional Switcheroo

Now it may be the cold talking but lately there has been talk on Capital Hill of nothing short of an overhaul of the Constitution. We all know that major legislation is always preceded by major deal making so here is how political strategist speculate the deal would go down: Congressional Democrats would pass a constitutional amendment allowing naturalized citizens like California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to run for president, if Republicans help kill the 22nd Amendment barring third terms, thus clearing the way for another bid by Bill Clinton and, presumably, President Bush. Expect to see the deal making begin this Spring when Sen. Orrin Hatch is set to reintroduce his plan to let naturalized citizens run for president. A country where a wealthy ex-drug user, who you can barely understand, can run for president? Who would have imagined that?

A Clear Plan for Social Security

Want to know what Bush plans to do about Social Security?
He was asked about his agenda for Social Security, and whether he would just be laying out general principles and leaving the details to Congress. Here is what he said verbatim during an interview with the Wall Street Journal (It takes him a while to get rolling but stay with us)

"That's part of -- that's part of the advice my new National Economic Council head will be giving me as to whether or not we need to -- here is the plan, or here is an idea for a plan, or why don't you just fix it. I suspect given my nature, I'll want to be -- the White House will be very much involved with -- I have an obligation to lead on this issue -- I think this will be an administrative-driven idea -- to take it on. And therefore, that that be the case, I have the responsibility to provide the political cover necessary for members, I have the responsibility to make the case if there is a problem, and I have the responsibility to lay out potential solutions. Now, to the specificity of which, we'll find out -- you'll find out with time."

Political Bits can sum up what Bush was trying to say in eight words “I don’t know what position to take yet.” Now we know that good policy and clear communication don’t necessarily have to go hand in hand. However for a guy who sells himself as a "straight talker from Texas" he sure has gotten good at that political speak we hear so much about!

Rumsfeld May Call it Quits

Word on the street is that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld may finally be calling it quits. It seems that as soon as the Iraqi elections are over, Rumsfeld feels he has an opportunity to exit on a positive note. Candidates for Pentagon posts are being told by President Bush's second-term transition team that the situation at Defense will be sorted out by May. Well, at least the administration is willing to put a timeline on SOMETHING!

Bush's Zinger

Saturday Night the "famous for Washington" crowd braved the east coast snow storm and gathered at the Capital Hilton for the 91st meeting of the exclusive Alfalfa Club. The Washington traditional diner and joke fest was attended by Bush along with other politicians from both sides of the aisle. The Alfalfa Club was named for the plant whose roots would "do anything for a drink" and has absolutely no other purpose than to throw a really big, exclusive, no-press-allowed party once a year. During Bush's comments he managed to sneak in a few jokes.

" 'Boy, that speech in Iowa was something else,' Bush said, referring to Howard Dean's shooting episode. 'Talk about shock and awe. Saddam Hussein felt so bad for Governor Dean that he offered him his hole.'

" 'Then we have Senator Kerry. I think Kerry's position on the war in Iraq is politically brilliant. In New Hampshire yesterday, he stated he had voted for the war, adding that he was strongly opposed to it.'

We just hope Bush hasn't used up all his jokes in one place because this is just the first of a series of appearances to fulfill his duty as Jester-and-chief. The Gridiron dinner is March 6; the Radio and Television Correspondents dinner is March 24; and the White House Correspondents Association dinner is May 1. However the president wasn't the only one who got to crack a few jokes. In the bipartisan spirit, Vernon Jordan, friend of Bill Clinton, offered some jokes in his speech as outgoing president of the club.

" 'Mr. President, I feel like I'm at one of your Cabinet meetings -- a blind man in a room full of deaf people. . . . Before I hand over my presidency to my successor, let me take a moment, regardless of whether we are Christian, Jew or Muslim, and thank the Almighty, the one who controls our destiny as a nation -- Karl Rove.'"

George's Inaugural

As the inauguration approaches, many people may be getting excited for another inaugural speech (ok that may be a bit of a stretch, but at the very least people are excited for a chance for Bush to say something funny). Throughout time, many of our countries greatest phrases have come during this poignant beginning to a presidents new term. There have been such classics as "Ask not what your country can do for you..." and "Government is not the solution..." The tradition dates all the way back to the first George W. However, They haven't all been gems.

Take for example George Washington's second inauguration speech where he basically just gave himself stage directions: "The Constitution requires an oath of office. This oath I am now about to take, and in your presence." This would have been great for a blind person, unfortunately none were aloud to attend, do to the since repealed law "Section 257".

Really the standard was Kennedy's 1961 speech by which all others will be compared. However we don't need a Kennedy-esque speech out of Bush for it to be a success this time around. It's so cold in Washington, it will be a success if he can just manage to avoid catching a cold. Remember good old William Henry Harrison?

[Stay Tuned For More Inauguration Day Coverage]

Sunny Inauguration

Most of the people who helped by contributing to the $40 million raised for the inauguration ceremonies just wanted to help Bush celebrate in style, but it seems that some donors may have had ulterior motives. Remember the Reverend Sun Myung Moon? He is the controversial head of the Unification Church, whose followers are sometimes derisively called “Moonies”. Mr. Moon reportedly gave the maximum $250,000 towards the Bush bash.

According to CultNews' Rick Ross “"Don't be surprised if George W. Bush pumps out a last-minute pardon for Rev. Moon on his tax-fraud conviction just before leaving the White House. After all, Reverend Moon has been very good to the Bush family and he may think they owe him one.”

If Political Bits had known that all it takes to clean a criminal record is $250,000 we would have at least had a fundraiser or something for Bobby Brown ages ago

I'll Have Some Rice on the Side

Today Secretary of State-designate Condoleezza Rice went before the senate to defended her integrity and honesty as she clashed with senators about the Bush administration's justification for the Iraq war.

In a particularly heated exchange, California Democrat Sen. Barbara Boxer argued that the Bush administration had shifted its justification for the war because it had failed to find stocks of biological and chemical weapons it had asserted were there.

"You sent them in there because of weapons of mass destruction. Later the mission changed when there were none," Boxer told Rice. "Let's not rewrite history, it's too soon to do that."

That's a good point, but if the person who wrote the history was Bush, it may be appropriate do a little editing, at least for spelling and punctuation. We don't want our allies thinking we are idiots, writing our history in marker on a ripped piece of notebook paper. We're America, we have spell checkers and laser jet printers!

Of course John Kerry couldn't stay out of the conversation adding...

"We went in to rescue Iraq from Saddam Hussein, now I think we have to rescue our policy from ourselves, I don't take any joy in this but it's ... the reality we've got to deal with."

Hold on John Kerry... if you can't take a little joy in THIS then your doing it for all the wrong reasons. Maybe it's time to go back to Massachusetts.

Poll Poll Poll

Political Bits has been wondering, where have all the polls gone? During the election season, not a day went by without some new poll, but since the election... nothing! How are the American people supposed to know what they are thinking (within the margin of error)? Fear not fellow pollophiles, the Washington Post has come out with a new poll. And what have we learned from this statistically significant questionnaire? Well.. nothing actually, it seems that nothing has changed since they last did the poll.

President Bush will begin his second term in office without a clear mandate to lead the nation, with strong disapproval of his policies in Iraq and the public both hopeful and dubious about his leadership on the issues that will dominate his agenda, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll.

On second thought, I guess we were ok without another poll. Get back to us when the American people start paying attention to the political process again. On a similar note, the Washington has fired all it's statisticians, they can expect to be rehired in 2008.

Inaugurations of Yore

Oh how we long for simpler times! The upcoming Presidential inauguration is expected to cost upward of 40 million dollars. Given the amount of good even half this amount of money could do to help with the suffering domestically and internationally, $40 million is a bit extreme. What ever happened to the days when a presidents inauguration was a simple affair?

Take Grover Cleveland as an example, his 2nd party only cost $50,000 and they reused the decorations from the first time around. And do you remember Rutherford Hayes' 1877 inauguration? it was held as a private ceremony attended by only a half dozen people because the date fell on a Sunday. Imagine the money they saved on catering.

I guess lavish inaugurations are a sign of the times, after all, Clinton did have international super star Michael Jackson perform at his party. That gives me an idea, Bush could save some major money if he just hired Jackson as his entertainment, I bet he could get a good rate.

Jacksonville is Special

The Navy is considering mothballing the Kennedy, one of two remaining carriers that are not nuclear-powered, and closing down its home base in Jacksonville Florida. During a recent Presidential visit, several Florida GOP heavyweights including: the president's brother, Gov. Jeb Bush; Sen. Mel R. Martinez; Rep. Ander Crenshaw; and Jacksonville Mayor John Peyton tried to stress the importance of the Jacksonville area Navy base.

"So there I was with the senator, the congressman, the mayor and the governor,and guess what we talked about? We talked about the importance of Jacksonville,Florida, to the security of the United States of America," said President Bush

Look, I think Jacksonville is important too! But only because that's where the Super Bowl is going to be this year, other than that, it's a pretty much useless! Something tells me though that the base won't be shut down, there are to many special interests and connections. If only Political Bits had the same type of connection, we could mothball all other legitimate sources of political news and take over the political landscape, alas... Political Bits brother is not the President of the United States, nor are we a legitimate source of news.

Homeland "Party" Security

Apparently the Bush administration recently told the city of DC they would need to cover inauguration costs by diverting $12m from their homeland security fund. We guess whenever the Bush administration talks about protecting the homeland, they really mean protecting the extravagant party we are throwing ourselves. We know budgets can be complicated things, but that just sounds bad! The Bushies have already raised millions to pay for most of the inauguration celebration, and four years ago they didn't make the city foot the bill, so what are they spending all the extra money on this time around? Looks like everyone's getting their very own Stetson.

Related Articles:
"U.S. Tells D.C. to Pay Inaugural Expenses" [WPost]

You Can't Spell DNC without Dean

Former Vermont Gov, Presidential Candidate, and lounge singer Howard Dean announced Tuesday that he will run for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee. Dean made his announcement through his "blog" and called upon his supporters to help make a difference, even though last time their help really didn't make a difference at all. Dean vowed to "Work harder this time to enunciate" to which he added, "Yeawheeeeee..."
Political Bits wonders if this new undertaking of Dean's makes him more or less relevant, however it definitely leaves hope for all those other previous governor, presidential candidate, lounge singers who are meticulously planning their come backs.
Keep the hope alive Howell Cobb!

Tsunami 2008

In circles around Washington, there has been a buzz in the air about how President Bush teamed Secretary of State Colin Powell and Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, his brother, for last week's tsunami fact-finding mission. Some Bush Administration and Democratic insiders believe the president was signaling his dream team for the next presidential election. "Was this the first campaign trip for the '08 ticket, Bush-Powell?" nudged a senior administration official. Said another Bushie: "Yeah. It's a good fit." Even Democrats got the message. "How obvious was that? " smirked a former top aide to the Kerry campaign. Excuse me... didn't a huge worldwide tragedy just take place? The comments from both sides seem to be in extremely bad taste. Politicians should focus on helping people in times of trouble, not spinning it for their political future.

Related:
"Help out by donating to the Red Cross" [Red Cross]

LeiberCanadian

Bobs Newswire has uncovered evidence suggesting Senator Joseph Lieberman may find his ancestry's roots in the Great White North. The person on the new Canadian five dollar bill has a strange resemblance. I think they are on to something, for example, just the other day we noticed that the picture on the new Iraqi bills looks strangely like Saddam.... oh wait, that must be a mistake.