George and Paris

At first glance, the similarities appear coincidental. Eldest siblings, families with money and famous names, the middle initial ‘W’. But the list keeps going. Both were indifferent students and childhood hellions, closest to their mothers, for whom an early predilection towards carousing set the bar of public expectation quite low. And while one found God and the other a camcorder, their resultant public demeanor is astonishingly alike: they’re shallow, petulant and not all that bright, and seem pretty damn proud of it.

For further consideration, Radar has compiled what this Teflon twosome has had to say about the following subjects:

Hard work…

Bush: In Iraq, no doubt about it, it’s tough. It’s hard work. It’s incredibly hard…. It’s hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it’s necessary work. —presidential debate, 9/30/04

Paris: Believe me, it’s not easy to arrange a girls’ night out for a whole bunch of girly girls. Oh, the burdens of being an heiress! Just making sure they’re all dressed and ready at the same time is a nightmare. —Confessions of an Heiress, 9/04

Friends…

Bush: This is an impressive crowd — the haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite; I call you my base. —campaign dinner in New York, 9/00

Paris: I cannot stress enough the importance of billionaire friends. Even for someone like me, they can be real assets. They raise your social net worth. —Confessions

Drugs…

Bush: As I understand it, the current [FBI] form asks the question, “Did somebody use drugs within the last seven years?” and I will be glad to answer that question, and the answer is “No.” — Dallas Morning News, 8/19/99

Hilton: I don’t do drugs…. I see young girls out now who have been doing it for so long they look haggard and old. I like my young face. I don’t want to look old. —British Glamour, 2/05

The Media...

Bush: There’s a sense that people in America aren’t getting the truth. I’m mindful of the filter through which some news travels, and sometimes you just have to go over the heads of the filter and speak directly to the people. —TV interview, 10/13/03

Hilton: No one writes about my charity work. They’d rather write about me dancing on a table, which I’ve never done in my life. I don’t know how you could dance on tables. The table would, like, fall. —Jane, 2/05